I went on my first date with A just shy of 6 weeks ago. I’ve refrained from writing about him too much because I didn’t want to jinx it, and because I’m nervous about the well-meaning, but notoriously protective people in my life.
In the past 6 weeks, I’ve learned a lot about A. I know his favorite color (blue) and how he takes his coffee (black). I’ve learned that he can eat more than anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve learned that he’ll play off a compliment, that he tries very hard not to say disparaging things about other people (even when he wants to), and that he likes anchovies on his pizza, which I find abhorrent. I’ve learned that he’s handy, but doesn’t do plumbing, and that he is left-brained to the end of time, sometimes with amusing results.
The thing that has struck me, though, is how much I have learned about me.
For example: I have never in my life ordered a pepperoni, sausage, pepper, and onion pizza. Ever. But, in an effort to be amiable, I agreed to this concoction (I put my foot down on the anchovies, though). Turns out, it was DELICIOUS.
It’s not unlocking the meaning of life, but it’s something.
I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t weakness. It takes an act of strength to show your faults, your scars, your broken places. It also requires discernment to evaluate to whom it is prudent to show them.
I’ve learned that relationships are not syllogisms. If Simone says, “I’m free on Friday,” then A will plan a date. Sometimes it works. Sometimes the left-brain kicks in on you and the response is, “Cool! You need a break.”
I’ve learned that friends and family give the best advice they can but, in the end, they can no better develop a fool-proof dating plan than they can predict the weather. How much easier would life be if there were a magic formula? Girl + Guy + XFactor = Happily Ever After. Unfortunately, life is more like a flowchart than an equation. This deeply offends my scientific mind.
I’ve learned that I am an impatient person. Alright, to be fair, I already knew that. Nothing quite like introducing another person’s schedule, preferences, and routines into the mix to drive the point home. So far I’ve had lots of…um…room for personal growth.
I am no guru. I’m bumbling my way through, crashing into obstacles with the finesse of a pee wee soccer team. I’m learning, I’m trying, and hopefully, I’m only making the same mistakes 6 or 8 dozen times before I figure them out.